keep your head up boys and survive the best way you could
For months I tried to find the excuse to re-visit my childhood hometown. Being born and raised during my teenage life in Tawau, Sabah, this place has a soft spot in my heart. I miss the food … I miss my old childhood friends and I miss talking in the Sabahan dialect too.
This time around, my excuse is … I am re-visiting islands around Semporna for the second time. Had a good deal return ticket from KL to Tawau and spent a few days hanging out in Tawau with my childhood friends while enjoying the weekends at the islands surrounding Semporna, hunting the light with some new friends.
the sea gypsies of islands surrounding Semporna, Sabah
I miss the salty air and the beautiful endless open sky. As we were speeding off to Selakan Island from Semporna jetty, I can’t help reminiscing the old sweet years when I used to spend my weekend doing island hopping with my compact camera. Carefree years … when my camera was just so light and the years where I carried my flippers more than my camera.
I am feeling old … only old people reminiscing their old sweet memories.
My second visit to this beautiful place. The first time in 2015 when I was still fresh in this photography world, at that time everything looked new and exciting to me. Guess what … the second trip is as excited as before, I am born to do this … to wander around my surrounding and just fall deeper into my own world while doing … the THINKING, lol (so much to think about).
gypsy girls swinging carefreely
Timbun Mata, Bodgaya, Maiga, Selakan, Gusungan, Ormadal and a lot more surrounding islands that we can explore. The setting of each island looks damn good during sunset and sunrise. And, I noticed something different this time around with my new travel mates … they play with the drones more than their cameras.
A new way of enjoying our beautiful surrounding which is aerial photography. Now everybody can fly … me? I think I would just stick to my paramotor addiction. Flying with a group of motivated adventurous paramotor pilots and enjoying the raw aerial view with my own eyes, self-satisfaction. I get to feel the fear of the unknown circumstances while flying … while the drone players fear that they would lose their drone signal and later would lose the drone.
a girl drying fish at the beach in Maiga Island
What makes a place interesting?
For me … it’s the people that reside in the place that makes the place compelling. In here the sea gypsies people are well blended with their nature. Life is simple.
But for a thinker … you’ll get worried just by looking at the children paddling here and there aimlessly. I always believe that every child needs to go to school, at least to learn reading, writing, calculating and reading the Quran.
Zainab and her lunch for today
By giving that basic skill to our children we fulfilled at least the very minimal responsibility as a parent to them. Giving them the skills will help them make a better choice in life. It is up to the parents though. I saw a few schools here in some islands. Maybe they just choose not to send their children to school.
Ahh well … enough worrying, at least they are happy with their choice of life. As I said earlier … it’s a simple life, no ruffles.
sunrise in Maiga island
I always want to say this at the end of my writing … that I want to visit the same place again and again. 3 days 2 night is not enough … it was cloudy during the 3 days that we were there and on the second day, we were chased by the storm during sunset at Bodgaya Island. I think a week would be good.
The cloudy stormy sky is the best time to capture time-lapse as the clouds would move rapidly. Sharing my time-lapse video here for y’alls. Amazing moment captured using my small gopro6.
And last but not least, belanja a picture of me under the stormy cloud for my fan out there (perasan … lol am being cynical here) and for those people who are not so my fan, please underestimate me, that’ll be fun. Annyeong …
“Oh, I’ve been busy.” “Much busier than you.” As if life has turned into a quiet competition on who is carrying the heaviest load.
To me, being busy often sounds less like a fact and more like an excuse. A polite way of saying, I chose not to spend my time with you. Because time, after all, is never truly lost. Mind you, that time is allocated. And when someone tells you they are “too busy,” what they are really saying is that their time has been given elsewhere, to something or someone they deemed more important in that moment.
It’s a hard truth, but an honest one. We all make choices. We all prioritise. And sometimes, “busy” is simply the safest word to hide behind when we don’t want to admit those choices out loud.
Hmm… perhaps I’m being a little grumpy in my introductory paragraph. Excuse me, just a moment of honesty slipping out. Lol.
A carrier horse in the middle of the Peshawar market
Me? Yes! I’ve been busy too. Busy in the way life usually is. Busy catching up with… I don’t know. Maybe work, life, or simply recovering from one back-to-back trip after another.
But even in the middle of that chaos, I still make time. Time for the people I love. The three souls I hold closest, my pets and my mum. Because no matter how full my days are, the things that matter don’t get pushed to the side … they get protected.
And strangely enough, despite how exhausted I am right now, there’s a deep sense of satisfaction sitting quietly with me. That familiar reminder: do what you love, love what you do.
I think I love myself most when I’m wandering through unfamiliar lands … when I’m small, curious, and alive … more than when I’m at home, overthinking and worrying about a future that has never once followed my plans anyway.
Kalash kids in front of their home
I was in Pakistan for the second time last July, travelling once again with my trusted travel mates.
This time, our intention was clear. We were to visit the Kalash people of northern Pakistan. The journey itself was already an adventure. We took a domestic flight from Islamabad to Chitral, followed by a long, winding jeep ride into the remote Kalash Valley. Each turn pulled us farther away from the familiar and deeper into the mountains.
Nestled within the mighty Hindu Kush range, the Kalash Valley is geographically harsh and undeniably rugged. Life here is shaped by altitude, weather, and isolation. But for someone who loves nature, would truly love it — this place is breathtaking in a quiet, humbling way. Towering mountains, raw landscapes, and an overwhelming sense of distance from the modern world make you slow down, look longer, and feel smaller.
It is not an easy place to reach, nor an easy place to live. And perhaps that is exactly what makes it so beautiful.
I am not sure what kind of game these 2 children from the Kalash valley were playing
In a country where Islam is the dominant religion, the Kalash stand apart as one of Pakistan’s last indigenous mountain communities still holding firmly to their ancestral beliefs. Numbering an estimated three thousand people, the Kalash continue to practise their ancient pagan religion, along with customs and rituals passed down through generations.
Over time, some members of the Kalash community have converted to Islam, choosing to leave behind parts of their traditional belief system and adopt a Muslim way of life. Yet they continue to live alongside their families and neighbours within the valley, a quiet coexistence shaped more by geography than ideology.
What immediately catches the eye are the Kalash women and girls. Every day, they wear thick, black embroidered robes, paired with distinctive headdresses and layers of heavy bead necklaces. Their attire is not reserved for ceremonies or festivals. It is part of daily life, a visible expression of identity and continuity. The men, on the other hand, dress much like other Pakistani men, wearing kurta shirts that blend seamlessly into the broader cultural landscape.
Despite the simplicity of their surroundings, the Kalash live vibrantly. Their colours, rituals, and way of seeing the world feel deeply rooted and unapologetically their own. For me, it is a culture that invites curiosity — one that deserves to be observed slowly, respectfully, and with an open mind.
My article in NST on how to photograph other cultures
Summer had just begun when I touched down in Islamabad.
It felt slightly ironic, because I almost never choose to travel during the summer. I usually plan my trips around the tail end of winter, spring, or autumn … anything but peak heat. Coming from a country that is hot and humid twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, I would rather stay home than voluntarily experience another country’s version of summer.
Chitral and the Kalash Valley were easier to handle. The temperatures were similar to home, but the air was drier and often carried a cool mountain breeze. That alone made a huge difference. The heat existed, yes … but it was breathable, almost forgiving.
Morning chai at a street in Peshawar
Peshawar, however, was a completely different story.
Summer in Peshawar is… wow. Challenging. With daytime temperatures reaching around 38°C but feeling more like 42°C thanks to the greenhouse effect, the heat clings to you. Walking through the narrow market alleys, hemmed in by concrete, crowds, and sun, was not exactly something I looked forward to. Each step felt heavier than the last.
But well… I survived Peshawar. And sometimes, survival itself becomes part of the travel story.
Busy street of Peshawar’s old city market
I have always wanted to visit Peshawar.
Years ago, during my university days, one of my professors was from Peshawar. He has since passed away. Taken by dengue a few years ago, but I still remember our conversations clearly. He once told me, very confidently, that the tomatoes in Peshawar were as big as mangoes.
Naturally, that caught my attention. Tomatoes as big as mangoes? Really? Where does one find such a thing?
Half-joking, half-serious, I told him that one day I would love to visit his hometown, Peshawar, just to see those legendary tomatoes for myself. He laughed, then immediately warned me, “Please don’t go to Peshawar. That place is dangerous. Not somewhere you should walk around.”
Of course, my curious mind has never been very good at listening to the word no.
So there I was, years later, walking through Peshawar … alert, cautious, but very much alive. And yes, I checked the tomatoes.
They were… normal. Exactly the same size as the tomatoes back home in Malaysia.
I smiled to myself. Not disappointed. Just amused. Some stories aren’t meant to be proven true. They’re meant to stay as memories, attached to people who once told them with conviction, humour, and love for their hometown.
Busy street of Peshawar’s old city market
Walking the streets of Peshawar as a woman with a camera is not exactly easy. Local customs must be respected, and proper dressing is a must. I wore my favourite black abaya — yes, even in the summer heat — and surprisingly, it helped with the sun. But my gender quickly became a practical obstacle. Walking alone through the markets wasn’t an option; I needed a male companion to navigate safely. Thank God my local guide was both helpful and friendly, which made the wandering process much smoother and far more enjoyable.
Morning crowd around my hotel in Peshawar, Pakistan
Now, sitting at home and finally recuperating, I ask myself: what do I remember most about Peshawar?
Uhhhh… the food.
I had the most incredible lamb stew of my life. Guys, even better than anything I’ve tasted in Xinjiang. Every meal felt different from what I had in Islamabad, Chitral, or Skardu. I was told that Peshawar’s cuisine is infused with Afghan influence, being just 57 km from the Afghanistan border. And now… naturally, curiosity strikes: what’s the food like in Kabul? Hmmm… one day, I must find out.
For eleven days straight, I overindulged — lamb, chicken, lamb again — three meals a day. Never in my life have I eaten this much meat in a single day. Masya Allah. And it was a happy Masya Allah, because I love lamb. Not to mention, I needed that extra energy for wandering, climbing alleys, and, of course, carrying my ridiculously heavy camera bag.
My breakfast … roti
What an experience.
I can see myself returning to Pakistan, over and over again. There’s a pull there … the mountains, the valleys, the rawness of the land, the warmth of the people. I can almost feel myself hiking those majestic peaks around Skardu, breathing in the crisp air, and catching the subtle, icy scent of glaciers.
Maybe it’s time to start strengthening my knees and legs — you know, actually preparing for those climbs. I should start tomorrow… or maybe the day after… lol. In Sha Allah, the mountains will wait, and I’ll be ready.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the world always rewards the curious, the persistent, and the slightly stubborn. And yes… I fit that description perfectly.
I have been putting this off for almost a year. If I want to improve my photography skill then I need to be serious about my paid job too. So, I started buying my studio equipment slowly since last year, bought my studio lights last few months (coz I couldn’t decide which one suits my pocket and my style).
I want to master studio light and take awesome B&W portraits. And, I kept on justifying all the ringgit out from my pocket for this purpose … to master light and shadow under a controlled environment and I need to have all this equipment. Dang!!
Got my favorite dark grey ash backdrop fixed and I start taking photos of my most best-loved subject … baby!. Yes. I am all geared up for my next learning experience. Learning by doing. My portfolio website is up and running at matsudamashimaru.myportfolio.com, my facebook page is done (jom follow), my spirit is highly motivated for this (am having bad flu right now) and let’s do this Matsuda.
Mastering a new skill.
If you are interested to have me capture your intimate beautiful moments with your baby, children or the whole family, please feel free to get in touch me via email at salliza.salleh@gmail.com or Facebook or Instagram.
As I add more months and years to my photography experience, I learned about the role of “stroke of luck” in my artwork. Unplanned moments or shall I say accidentally moments that just hit the “jackpot” or a rewarding moment that made my day as a photographer.
It was 100% totally luck. I was in the right place at the right time with the right people.
Just that.
I always see it as a gift … a gift from the invisible hand, the Planner. Each time I came across such moment I feel grateful and contended.
A moment when I passed over a pond filled with wild buffaloes
So each time when I am sad and feeling unlucky … I would scroll down and browse through my lucky moments. Telling myself … for each moment that I am at lost, I would experience more lucky moments as a reward for my perseverance and my patience.
I take photography personally. Most of the time I captured my own moment … moments that related to me. A way for me to learn and understand about life. To calm my soul when things don’t work accordingly, as the Planner always has a better plan for me. I just need to trust Him.
A sunset moment when the golden light decided to be generous
“Art depends on luck and talent”
Whenever you came across that lucky moment, you need the talent to be able to recognize such moment and you need the technical skill to decide on what and how to properly frame it. How do you do it?
Now I understand the reason why writing will always make me feels good. I always wonder why does it feel good to pour your thought out for others to discover?
It is an opportunity to be heard and it feels good to be heard.
And the soul-nourishing month of Ramadhan has ended while the joyful Syawal has begun. It’s interesting to observe how people around you interpreted their belief system. Am not talking about the belief system between different religions but I am more concern about the different interpretation of the same belief system.
Islam is just one belief, one teaching and one God … don’t add yourself as another interpretation of other arrogant God.
If you believe that a religion is beautiful then your interpretation of that religion should be that beautiful too. If the teaching of a beautiful religion is to worship the Al-Mighty while at the same time to look for the best in human (as we humans are created as an equal Khalifah on this earth), to bring out the best in human-being and to unite people of various races in the world … stick with that teaching and please interpret this beautiful religion rightfully.
I felt frustrated with the arrogant believer that think that they are better off in front of Allah just because they have better religion knowledge (they believe so) than the rest. If you think that you have more knowledge than others please SHARE in a well-manner more civilize way. Not through a barbaric way as we are now living in an informative and intelligent era. Everybody has their own limitations and challenges … the sincerity of the heart matter the most; the HEART MATTER …
Sorry for the long ranting … I got distracted by the MAN who thinks that part of his leg is already firmly planted on Allah’s Heaven. Well … the more I see the more I want to ask why? And, a woman who always asks WHY is a nuisance for such MAN MADE FOR HEAVEN (so he think so).
Sharing my thought and my latest article in NST about how to capture the spirit of Hari Raya (eid) from a photographer’s point of view aka my point of view.
Eid Mubarak to all my readers.
Cheers,
MM
ps- The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The believer is friendly and befriended, for there is no goodness in one who is neither friendly nor befriended. The best of people are those who are most beneficial to people.”