Tag Archives: self discovery

To stay honest

DSC08263.jpg

me in my space ~ Pedu Lake

I struggle.

As I age every day with my own lifestyle, doing just the thing that I want to do in my life, I struggle.

I struggle to stay honest. As honest as I could be. It’s a daily struggle.

To act honestly towards friends and people around me. To talk honestly about how I feel about things. To stay honest in my writing and my artwork and at the same time, to be honest to myself.

DSCF9786

this is what i want to always see ~ Pedu Lake

That cringe feeling each time I crossover the honesty line is depressing.

“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”

All due to peer pressure.  Of wanting to be accepted by my chosen group of well-minded people, so I thought.

With maturity, staying honest with my own self is seldom a problem. Maybe because I spend most of my time with me and myself … comfortable being alone exploring life. Simple mind and less complicated life.

But new people that I stumble upon this few years are very challenging.

I wanted to try something new. Open up myself, meeting new people and work on new projects but our personality doesn’t match. A sweet talker vs a doer does not belong together, a potential of a free rider.

Sweet talkers path their own runway with words and sweet promises to climb the highest mountain but when it comes to hard work building up the runway itself, they chickened out. The burden goes to ‘do-er’.

When you are trying your best to stay honest and genuine, these people showed me the other side of the perspective. That people can be reckless with their words. That word is cheap. Words and promises are just irresponsibly splurged to built trust.

Once they gain your trust, they’ll see and treat you as their donkey.

DSCF9618

a survivor ~ Pedu Lake

And, I decided to move on with my own way. Struggling every day to live life as a loyal, an honest and a sincere human being.

It is better to stay alone than to lose your self-value.

“And in the end all I learned was how to be strong… Alone.”

Cheers,

MM

 

ps: … throwing words out of my congested chest, letting it all out.

 

 


Strike of luck

NEP_7302-Edit-Edit

A moment when I passed through this fishing boat

What does photography teach me?

As I add more months and years to my photography experience, I learned about the role of “stroke of luck” in my artwork. Unplanned moments or shall I say accidentally moments that just hit the “jackpot” or a rewarding moment that made my day as a photographer.

It was 100% totally luck. I was in the right place at the right time with the right people.

Just that.

I always see it as a gift … a gift from the invisible hand, the Planner. Each time I came across such moment I feel grateful and contended.

MYS_8098-Edit-Edit

A moment when I passed over a pond filled with wild buffaloes

So each time when I am sad and feeling unlucky … I would scroll down and browse through my lucky moments. Telling myself … for each moment that I am at lost, I would experience more lucky moments as a reward for my perseverance and my patience.

I take photography personally. Most of the time I captured my own moment … moments that related to me. A way for me to learn and understand about life. To calm my soul when things don’t work accordingly, as the Planner always has a better plan for me. I just need to trust Him.

DSCF5368-Edit-Edit

A sunset moment when the golden light decided to be generous

“Art depends on luck and talent”

Whenever you came across that lucky moment, you need the talent to be able to recognize such moment and you need the technical skill to decide on what and how to properly frame it. How do you do it?

Practice makes perfect.

Sleep deprived. Need to doze off. Bye …

Cheers

MM

ps: TEDx Talks about  Mastering Change by Michael Yamashita.

 


Another year

 

IMG_4155

Bonding time with Rocky from Dhaka

 

2018.01.18: Time for revisiting my 2017 resolutions and evaluate my yearly self-achievement. What have I done in 2017? Have I achieved all 3 of my 2017 Resolutions? My 2017 resolution is here in this previous post.

  • Kiasu ‘win’ attitudeyes! I signed up and participated in some competitions but no sign of winning yet, but at least I am out of my comfort zone.
  • Travel backpackyes! to Mongolia 
  • More create timeyes! thanks to NST 

I think I need new resolutions for 2018, realistic resolutions just like last year, to keep me moving forward. Ok … my 3 resolutions for 2018 are:

 

IMG_4202

Light and shadow

 

I want to have a constant income from this hobby of mine, to be able to support my hyperactive wandering activity. So that one sweet day … I could be a full-time nomad, living just anywhere but I still earn a decent income from working while wandering. So, what should I do this year? Hmmm, puzzle …

This year I aged another year … women at my age, another year of aging is horrifying lol. But everything aged, even my old cat Chicken would turn 13 this March. I want to age gracefully … I want a healthy lifestyle in 2018. Cutting down on sugar and meat. Eating only healthy home food … maybe I should stop eating at that mamak restaurant. Hmmm, puzzle again.

More meaningful wandering aka traveling. I don’t want to follow the crowds … I want to follow ME. I want to wander and explore because the selfish me want to, not because everybody is going to Iceland then suddenly I have to go to Iceland, no way … I would go to Iceland because I want to go to Iceland lol … okay, puzzle again and again. Mental …

 

DSC_9216-2

A yak and a great sky in Lhasa, Tibet

 

I’ll write about my visit to Gandruk, Nepal last-last year on my next post lol … I need to see mountains and smell the cleanly filtered foresty air badly before I turn insane.

Ok lah … lemme get my beauty sleep in that rabbit hole of mine. Bye for now …

Yezza cheers!

MM

 

 

 


%d bloggers like this: