What makes me smile in 2021

The end of 2021 is here.

Tbh I didn’t do much this year.

The most that I did was random scrolling on social media for hours and hours, morning till late night. Half of the year spent on being stuck at home complying with the PKP, PKPP, PKPD, PKPPPPPPP whatever (lockdown due to C19). Hours and hours of idle times … yet my brain went blank during the whole period while stuck at home.

I was restless, I didn’t sleep well, and felt useless all the time. All kinds of negative thoughts filled my mind and later lead to depression. Xanax pills were never far from my reach.

Tired of feeling depressed, I force myself to read.

Bought an ebook reader, downloaded a few self-help books. Did my own research on WHY am I feeling the way that I am feeling. What is the reason behind my hyperactive mind? Why is it that my mind always busy but I always have trouble focusing? Why do I get bored easily? Why sitting in front of my PC doing editing and writing is challenging for me? Why was I not in peace with myself?

The right time to do self-diagnosis and self-discovery, especially when you have all the time in the world during the lockdown months. Before Covid, I treated my depression by being active all the time seeking adventure one after another … just to help push myself out of my cave.

After reading books about OCD, ADHD, ADD … I discovered that we humans have our own personal aka survival instinct on how to overcome our weaknesses. I believe that no matter how different (aka crazy) my brain waves are it would never fail to ‘auto figure’ methods on how to keep things in balance and keep me sane. Focusing on techniques to overcome my ‘hunter’ brain emotional downtime does help a lot. Instead of sitting at home waiting for the pandemic to end and getting crazily insane dealing with the noises in my brain, I moved forward … one small step at a time.

Exercise helped.

So I start walking in the park, a 3 km walk every alternate day, and gradually increase it to 5 km. I went hiking to places around my home. Hiking on some small hills, waterfalls and just recently I did out and back 8 km (663 m) hike at Gunung Angsi in Negeri Sembilan.

Looking good so far … I just need to enforce this exercise routine into a habit.

With all the personal turmoil that I was experiencing, what makes me smile in 2021?

My cat, Miss Oyen.

Oyen, an orange tabby cat that I found (end of October 2019) crying near the drain next to my house. She was so small, probably around 2-3 weeks old and later that week I decided to adopt her.

Shhh … trying to sleep here!

The adult Oyen makes me smile more in 2021 … and I am grateful that Allah entrusted her to my family. A stray kitten that grows into a fine loving cat that makes everyone at home smile all the time. Cuddling by our side every day while acting cute, pretending that she is the new baby in the house.

I am truly grateful, thank you Allah … Alhamdullilah.

Moving forward to the year 2022. Happy New Year y’all and I hope the year 2022 would bring us more happiness in our life … truly genuine happiness.



ps: Recommended books on ADHD:

  • Adult ADHD: How to Succeed as a hunter in the farmer’s world by Thom Hartmann
  • Adult ADHD: What you need to know by David Gurevich
  • Attention Deficit Disorder: A different perception by Thom Hartmann

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Be yourself - everyone else is already taken! - Oscar Wilde

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